~~~~~

What’s the easiest way to read Poems of the Week? In your email inbox, hot off the cyberpress! Just sign up for our free Substack here.

WEEK OF NOVEMBER 2

—Chicago Sun Times

by Paul Lander

Pope Leo casts vote.
A White Sox fan, he knows prayers
aren’t always answered.

by Steven Kent

“Trump told DOJ to sue to block Alaska Senate results if Republican narrowly loses:
Senate candidate Dan J. Sullivan has the same name as the current GOP incumbent.”
—ABC News

“Judge Rejects Trump Officials’ Move to Challenge Alaska Senate Election … [T]he administration plans to appeal…”
—The New York Times

The Prez says Dan’s his man
(Though not that other Dan),
So voters best be wary
If they turn out for Mary:
A Democrat selection
Could void the whole election.

This growing agitation
Just reeks of desperation
And surely has arisen
From fear he’ll go to prison,
A baseless bugaboo—
His kind so rarely do.

by Jerome Betts

“The winner of the men’s Ballon d’Or for 2026 is Harry Kane . . .”
—The Guardian

Should Trump not also get a prize,
A metal ball of equal size?
Don’t men who boast and lie and bomb
Deserve their own Ballon de Plomb?

by Steven Kent

“Fake film deals and emails from top agents: Who is behind the explosion in literary scams?”
—The Guardian

Some authors are a snap to scam,
But I’m a cynic, yes, I am,
And certainly I’d never fall
For these transparent frauds at all.
They’re wholly based on pointless praise
For clever plots and turns of phrase,
Yet we who’ve been around the block
Know better than to buy their schlock.
So sad, such gullibility—
Wait, one now wants to publish me?
Perhaps I should rethink my stand
And not dismiss this out of hand!
The fee will surely bring me glory;
The novel, that’s another story.

by Philip Kitcher

“Arsenal stunned in Carabao Cup loss to fourth-tier Fleetwood Town”
—ESPN

In Lancashire, where Woods are Fleet,
the mighty Gunners meet defeat,
as, once again, the League Cup winnows,
and killer whales succumb to minnows.

by Mike Mesterton-Gibbons

“‘Zero-energy companionship’: bizarre hobby takes seed among China’s stressed young adults:
Faced with a stagnant jobs market, many are spurning children or pets in favour of ‘raising bricks’”
—The Guardian

Perhaps you find a little stress too much,
And zero’s what you’d rather handle, so,
Renouncing all that’s cuddly to the touch,
Especially a child or pet, you go:
“No cats, no dating, I will raise a brick
That captures spores to satisfy my need
Of company—for free, through thin and thick,
Forever sparing me from mammals’ greed.
A stone that doesn’t roll will gather moss,
Be constant, never poo and, by the by,
Require no energy. Who gives a toss
If I’ve a runny nose or itchy eye
(Cuz I’m not dating)? … I’ll perfect non-ick
Kid-raising: I’m the parent of a brick!”

by Shaun Jex

“Patrick Stewart, the classically trained actor who added Shakespearean gravitas to the ‘Star Trek’ and ‘X-Men’ franchises, has died.”
—The Associated Press

Oh, Captain, my Captain
You now must boldly go,
So set a course beyond the stars
Declaring, “Make it so…”