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WEEK OF FEBRUARY 9

by Paul Lander

Democracy dies
in daylight, as WaPo writes
own obit notice.

by Thomas Germana

“The Trump administration has turned to an unusual weapon in its attempt to resurrect coal mining—a cartoon lump of coal, complete with giant eyes and yellow mining garb, called ‘Coalie’.”
—The Guardian

Honestly, this advertising
Isn’t really that surprising.
Trump and all his party-liners
Made it clear they’re after miners.

by Kaitlyn Spees

“Moltbook is the newest social media platform—but it’s just for AI bots”
—NPR

I’m glad AI bots have this site,
since taking breaks to whine
about one’s boss’s dumb requests
helps work to feel benign.

But add up all the resource use
for each AI post? Shock.
Lord knows that I’d get canned for so
much water cooler talk.

by Steven Kent

“”Boxer Jarrell Miller has hairpiece punched off in split-decision victory”
—The New York Times’ “The Athletic”

A thrilling night:
A jab! A slug!
But then, mid-fight,
He lost his rug,

And yet with blows
He triumphed there
(Though by a nose,
Not by a hair).

How very nice
To win this way—
So small, the price
He had toupee.

by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Royal Navy orders sailors to quit alcohol two days a week”
—The Telegraph

Our country will be safer once
The Navy starts this fitness drive—
As long as no one starts a war
On any of the other five.

by Brendan Beary

“The World Anti-Doping Agency is investigating whether ski jumpers were injecting their penises with hyaluronic acid in order to fly further”
—The Guardian

Though overworked already, heaven knows,
Today’s Olympic anti-doping screeners
Must now identify and then expose
Dishonest wannabe gold-medal wieners.