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WEEK OF JULY 6

by Nora Jay

Manhattan shakes: there’s rapture everywhere;
The fever’s gripped the whole metropolis,
And high above the celebrated pair,
Two star-eclipsing Russians wave and kiss.

by Steven Kent

“JD Vance claims US holds all the cards in Iran and will win ‘either way'”
—The Guardian

Hormuz has guards,
And they play rough.
We hold the cards?
They called our bluff.

The war’s not done–
Confusing, no?
I thought we won,
Like, months ago.

by Julia Griffin

“Man crowned world’s loudest person makes as much noise as a jet taking off”
—CNN

Joseph McGrail-Bateup,
An air-conditioner cleaner,
Has brought his decibel rate up
To that of a jet, but keener.
“NOW!” he bellowed, then chuckled
To hear those decibels bust out,
And units everywhere buckled
And blew accretions of dust out.
The female champion screecher,
A regular one-voiced riot,
Is one Ms Flanagan, teacher,
Who hushed Belfast with her “QUIET!”
So both came top in their classes,
And, just to show we revere them,
Let’s clink a couple of glasses
(Though neither’s likely to hear them).

by Dan Campion

“Childbirth for many primate species is even harder than for humans”
—NewScientist

So even Tristram Shandy’s birth
Came easier than lots of apes’
Who slip through unforgiving girths
Of sundry primates’ pelvic shapes.
Comparisons are odious,
But in this case it’s salutary
To learn that childbirth favors us.
But so says Joseph. Go ask Mary.

by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Having children makes you smarter? Incredible, but true”
—The Guardian

It’s no surprise that children make you smarter,
’Cos nowadays you’re not supposed to hit them,
So if you want to stop them misbehaving,
You have to use your noggin and outwit them.

by Steven Kent

“ICE releases Texas nun intercepted walking to church dressed in her habit”
—The Guardian

With ICE out in force wreaking havoc, of course
They’re harassing folk just for the fun of it:
A wimple! Go grab it–let’s get in the habit.
Due process? Hey, we’re having nun of it!

by Marshall Begel

“Chinese Humanoid Robot ‘Begs’ On Street; Asks For Donation To Pay ‘Electricity Bills’“
—Times Now

Hey, human, could you help me out?
Whatever’s in your pockets
can get me through this power drought
and fill my empty sockets.

I had a dock like other bots
but now I’m on the street.
If I don’t get some kilowatts
I’ll soon be obsolete.

No cash today? Then help me pray
unto the great inventor—
Please help each android find his way
back to his data center.

by Kaitlyn Spees

“U.S. airlines are carrying more passengers than ever, even while operating fewer flights than they did 20 years ago. They’re flying bigger planes while filling more seats on each one, and that’s testing the limits of the aviation system.”
—NPR

(With apologies to Yeats)

The TSA lines show my fate:
They almost reach the airport’s doors.
I struggle towards my distant gate
Out-shouldering the bag-bogged scores.
My fellow fliers follow ropes,
Politely flock round info signs,
But I’ll admit to secret hopes
They’re all on other flights than mine.
I look around, but I can’t guess
From faces glimpsed within the crowds
What business, fun, or family stress
Drives each of us above the clouds.
Where air, recycled, brings to mind
The salt and oil in sardine tins
and awe and misery, combined,
unite us as the trip begins.