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WEEK OF JUNE 8

by Julia Griffin

“[Google] asks US government to release army of sterile male mosquitoes to lower number of illness-spreading bugs”
—The Guardian

A regiment of sterile male mosquitoes
May shortly lower sickness rates. No gripes:
I wouldn’t vote for anyone who vetoes
This splendid use of nasty Incel types.

by Michael Calvert

“Why is Christopher Nolan’s new Greek epic entirely devoid of Greeks? Set to be this year’s biggest blockbuster, The Odyssey’s cast has been selected to ‘represent the world’… except that one key country seems to have gone completely unrepresented”
—The Guardian

As one with Attic DNA
it really bugs me, I must say,
that in your cast I couldn’t suss
a single Papadopoulos.

How much would it have troubled you
to stick in one Economou?
And how much hassle to provide us
with a token Nikolaidis?

In view of all we Greeks invented
we’re badly underrepresented,
and Nolan, you’re the one we’re blamin’—
C’mon! Odysseus a Damon?

by Bruce Rogowski

“Woman With No Right Hand Is Pulled Over for Using Phone in Her Right Hand”
—The New York Times

Although his claim’s disproved,
The cop remains unmoved:

He still believes his version—
Good thing he’s not a surgeon.

by Marshall Begel

“US Army integrates veterinarians into human combat care”
—Military Times

Out here on the front where we’re taking the brunt,
we scramble for all we can get.
Our units are strained for those medically trained,
so now we rely on a vet.

Though some may object, they still show her respect
and always are sure to salute her—
in case they go under, they don’t want to wonder
if surgery comes with a neuter.

by Steven Kent

“Hooters Says Bring the Kids”
—The New York Times

We know the things
That draw our guests:
For kids, the wings;
For dads, the breasts.

by Miriam N. Kotzin

“Gen Alpha Boys Are Ditching Real Girls for AI Companions (and It Could Ruin Their Lives, Expert Says)”
—Vice

In looks, young Mia will be fair
as she unnerves the teenage boy:
“Oh, I might have to wash my hair.”
He hangs on “might”—she’s less than coy.

She can be tactless, may attack:
“Why must you wear that shirt tonight?
I hate that shirt.”
Cut me some slack,
he thinks. Says, “Sorry.” He’s polite.

The music slows. He wants to dance
with her. He wants…. He starts to ask.
“This song is lame.”
So no romance.
“Yeah, no.” He readjusts his mask.

Bot Emily is willing, free.
He gladly pays the upgrade fee.

by Ruth S. Baker

“Blond Bangladeshi buffalo nicknamed ‘Donald Trump’ saved from Eid sacrifice”
—The Guardian

A buffalo in Bangladesh
Has saved his skin (and also flesh)
By brandishing a goldish tuft,
Which, matitutinally fluffed,
Liquesces his admirers’ hearts,
Short-circuiting their thinking parts,
And justifying all denials
Relating to the Epstein Files.

by Barbara Loots

“The New World screwworm, a flesh-eating fly that preys on livestock and other animals, has staged an unwelcome return to the United States, 60 years after the parasitic pests were officially eradicated from the country.”
—The New York Times

Screwworm preying on the herd?
A threat, but nothing new.
For years, the one in Washington
has eaten me and you.