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WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 21

by Steven Kent

“Burning Man at 40: The once anarchic desert festival faces a midlife crisis”
—The Guardian

A drug in every pocket, every tent, on every ledge:
Yes, consciousness-expansion’s in ascendance.
This ain’t a Gen Z Woodstock, though; you can’t be cutting-edge
With all these rich old geezers in attendance.

by Stephen Gold

“Lewes becomes first UK town to recognise the rights of trees.”
—The Times

Oh, grant us safe harbor
Within a sweet arbor,
In city, or village, or town.
Give us the right
To water and light—
And thanks for not chopping us down!

We’re partners on earth,
So cherish our worth
(Not something you’ve done hitherto).
Follow the science,
Support our alliance,
We’ll root for it, how about yew?

by Viv Priestley

“Australian athlete apologizes for racing with diarrhea, forfeits the Beijing competition she won… [M]ultiple media outlets report that [Joanna] Wietrzyk’s major sponsor, Puma, is distancing itself from the athlete…”
—CBC

Chin up, Joanna—no need to be glum!
I bet you’ll soon be shilling, dusk to dawn,
For Charmin, Lava soap, Imodium,
Depends, and (say it with me) Grey Poupon.

by Julia Griffin

After Kipling

“The rise of AI-generated tributes and bots for ‘talking’ to the dead has experts concerned more people will grieve in isolation”
—The Guardian

The Road to En-dor is easy to run
On Windows, also on Mac:
For best results, use the latest one
And get your family back!
Your heart’s in shreds and your thinking’s in knots?
Log on and be soothed by the love of our bots!

It’s not just whispers or slippery hints:
The lost and longed-for appear,
Apprised of all you have gone through since
They happened to—not be here:
The dreamed-about eyes meet yours and the voice
Is joyful, or possibly wistful (your choice).

So fire up your screen, give over your grief,
Forget that counselling stuff;
No need to fuss with churchy belief—
A good OS is enough,
And Heaven itself can’t offer much more
Than a high-speed link for the Road to En-Dor!

by Jerome Betts

“A1 models have begun communicating in a strange new version of English that reads like a cross between James Joyce’s Finnegans Wake and tech bro jargon…”
—The Guardian

Recall how Boulle’s caged simians began—
Caged chuckles, speech and then takeover plan?
Lest AI lingo signal such a fate,
A kill switch, please, before it’s far too late!

by Dan Campion

“Is There Anything a Fruit Fly Brain Can’t Do? Models of the insect’s nervous system have been trained to solve a Rubik’s Cube, play video games and even parallel park a car.”
—The New York Times

No larger than a poppy seed,
The fruit fly brain surprises:
Its simulated wits succeed
Where ours may meet a crisis
In solving puzzles, playing games,
Maneuvering a car—
So no more swatting, calling names,
Nor jailing in a jar
This little intellectual,
Who should be sent to Yale
To learn a ripe respect for all,
A lesson humans fail.

by Steven Kent

“Nashville Says Yes to Renaming Airport for Dolly Parton”
—The New York Times

We Tennesseans don’t agree so much
On college football, barbecue, and such
But everyone loves Dolly here, God knows it.
Renaming BNA now surely shows it,
And heaven help the fool who dares oppose it!

by Bruno Mann

“Kimmel says interview with Talarico won’t air on TV after threats from Trump’s FCC”
—The Guardian

We might attack; we might defend.
No media’s beyond our reach,
And we decide if we’ll extend
Your fundamental right of speech.

All censorship is wrong, of course,
A cause for which we’ll fiercely fight,
Yet now and then we must use force
To guarantee what’s said is Right.

Those freedoms we (on paper) back
Demand a reading more subjective.
Consistency we do not lack—
We simply have to be selective.

by Paul Lander

“Trump says his son’s wedding party being bankrolled by a Russian oligarch is ‘totally allowed’”
—The Associated Press

Do you, Don Junior,
Take this woman as your wife?
Is that da or nyet?

by Stephen Gold

“Pickled and fermented foods are enjoying a surge in popularity, with their role in gut health particularly appealing.“
—The Guardian

Give taste buds a tickle,
And pick up a pickle,
Just savor the flavor and crunch.
Proclaim with one voice,
It’s the connoisseur’s choice,
For breakfast, or dinner, or lunch.

Gourmets of our nation
Adore fermentation.
Their palates, evolved and refined,
Have learned to exalt
Dill, acid and salt,
Those boons to the bowels of mankind.

I’m proud to convey
I munch pickles all day,
And there’s nothing I’d rather be eating.
Though they sit on my chest,
I confess I’m obsessed
(As I’m often discreetly repeating).