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WEEK OF JUNE 15

by Steven Kent

“Huge American Flag Flies Into Power Lines, Knocking Out Power for Thousands”
—The New York Times

Old Glory twines,
The current arcs,
Electric lines
Erupt in sparks.

So what went wrong?
Says one report:
The flag was long,
But came up short.

“SpaceX Sets Milestone With World’s Largest I.P.O., Furthering Musk’s Power”
—The New York Times

by Dan Campion

I say it’s Tulipmania,
The South Sea BubbleX,
Titanic, Lusitania—
The Wall Street zoo’s T. Rex.
A “milestone” or a millstone? We
Shall see. I could be wrong.
But gamble on AI? Not me.
It’s big. So was King Kong.

by Julia Griffin

“Audience members at a matinee performance of the Royal Shakespeare Company’s production, starring Kenneth Branagh as Prospero, complained after a baby gurgled and cooed its way throughout the entire first half.”
—The Guardian

“They hurried hence thy crying self,”
The Duke informed his child,
Explaining how they’d come to be
Demoted and exiled;
Alas, his evocation of
Miranda’s baby blues
Was barely heard above the sound
Of nearby glugs and coos.
“Thou art inclined to sleep”: alas,
The powers of the mage
Were not sufficient to transcend
The borders of the stage,
And, equally unluckily,
The right to hurry hence
Is one the RSC does not
Allow its audience.
They, in this case, had paid good cash
To hear Sir Kenneth B,
Which left them somewhat disinclined
To note the irony,
And though ’twas not The Winter’s Tale,
The atmosphere was frost.
“What trouble was I then to you!”
Yes, baby: thou sure wast.

by Paul Lander

Pratt campaign ran dry.
Hopes faded fast as more votes
Came in. Pratt’s all, folks!

by Steven Urquhart Bell

“Bird flu, extreme heat and super gonorrhoea: The top health threats facing Britain”
—The Telegraph

I don’t think gonorrhea will
Be half the threat they say,
If Britain gets much hotter than
The heatwave back in May.

When I was wilting in the heat
And cursing its effects,
The farthest subject from my mind
Was hot and sweaty sex.

by Steven Kent

“Red states push conservative rebrands of Pride Month in backlash to LGBTQ+ celebrations”
—The Guardian

Prudishly, proudly promoting propriety:
Celebrate marriage, the one true variety!
Out with your Pride flag, Old Glory looks better—oh,
Stonewall away, we’re declaring June hetero!

by Dan Campion

“68 Quadrillion Underground Miles of Fungi”
—The New York Times

Imagine the stampede there’d be,
What gold rush–style kerfuffles,
If it were shown these strands might be
Delectable as truffles.